Reminding the Broken of a Bereaved Mother’s Perspective

(This to, started as a Facebook post that grew too long to post, so there is part that was meant for the local parents but local or not you should answer the prayer request as well.)

After sharing my perspective in my recent post two things happened:

❤️‍🩹I received a message that may have described me in the greatest way I have ever been described….

“You are mighty with the “sword of truth” and I appreciate you.” … (That was exactly what God knew I needed to keep writing.) I’ve been known to hurt feelings but I also have been known to impact lives in ways no one else was able to... You could say I’m the person who says what everyone is thinking but no one is brave enough (or rude/blunt enough) to say. I realized I was living out the lyrics in songs I had listened to multiple times a day during the darkest days of my own dark journey….

“They say sometimes you win some

Sometimes you lose some

And right now, right now I'm losing bad

I've stood on this stage night after night

Reminding the broken it'll be alright

But right now, oh right now I just can't

It's easy to sing

When there's nothing to bring me down

But what will I say

When I'm held to the flame

Like I am right now…”

(Lyrics to ‘Even If’ by Mercy Me)

❤️‍🩹And then after having one of the mothers of this awful tragedy tell me my ‘latest blog was exactly what she needed today.’ ❤️‍🩹

For her, it’s the least I can do.

For those of you who need it…

I will keep writing, here and there….. and we will get them through this.

🖤(For the Locals:)

I hope I wasn’t the only one who hung up that school phone call today and said a prayer for the man on the other end of that call.

My opinion is a person goes into education to help children, teach them, and watch them grow into small business owners, health care providers, or even come back and teach in the district that helped raise them.

Not one single person in education goes into their career preparing to lose a child/student. There isn’t a section where these things are pre written on how to handle it. While the tears began to flow, I heard an educator, a boss, a mentor, a protector, a son, an uncle, a brother, a daddy…. Holding what little part of himself that is left from this awful tragedy to do …. his job. Something so many in our community are quick to judge. Pray for that man & all his staff. Our district is strong because of many reasons…. One very important reason is Dr. Fretueg never ever stops. Every second of every minute of every single day, he gives 100% of himself to our children. Pray for the reason we are all “Rocket Strong”. No one is “strong enough” for moments like this but if you are it means you have lived through an unimaginable journey that built you to be a rock in moments like this.

❤️‍🩹

I’ll close with this…

Many of you will never understand how deep I feel this in my soul….

DO NOT swarm the families when you see them out. They have their people around them. Many of them may struggle with even going out because they are nervous they will be swarmed with people they don’t even know.

Let them breathe and grieve.

Our community and all surrounding areas are being so amazing. The love is felt.

It doesn’t need to be validated by hugs and verbally saying the most ridiculous yet repetitive statements of

‘I’m so sorry’ …

‘if there is anything we can do let us know’ …

‘I can’t imagine what you are going through’ …

TRUST ME.

Just don’t!

You don’t know this but you aren’t saying it for them. You are trying to mentally cope with your own feelings. I remember Kory and I got to a point where we had to say: ‘please do not put your grief on me’ .

You aren’t allowed to justify this kind of behavior. The only thing I remember from Emma’s actual funeral service is walking into the building and as soon as people noticed we were there a handful of people SWARMED to me! I instantly was weak, nauseous and felt like I could pass out. I was trying to process my situation and all these people wanted to do was go on and on with the ‘I’m so sorry’ followed by the even more disturbing

‘is she okay?’ ….

So, please,… so many have messaged and asked ‘what is the best thing we can do for the grieving families?’

Let them breathe.

Let them grieve.

Let them process.

Don’t suffocate them.

Keep doing everything we are doing and when they are able they will reach out. At that time, as a community we can be ready to bless them and meet whatever need arises. Keep showing your love and support in these ways and keep flooding God with prayers.

🖤

Below are pictures taken by Brian DeLouche of Beardstown, Illinois from our daughter’s funeral in May of 2021.. where a team of Schuyler Industry Schools (SID5) Employees were Emma’s teachers & support staff who led her through every part of her life… on the good days and the bad… and when her time on Earth was through the carried her one last time to her final resting place.

…..forever grateful to be a part of the Rocket Family.